I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
