Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
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You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
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It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Text me some of your sweat
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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