it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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