She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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