Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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