how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
