How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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