Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
