Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
