Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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