how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
