Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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