Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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