If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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