wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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