The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
