Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
