I cockslap morals
my phone needs a breathalizer
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
