so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I looked at my own cervix.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
