very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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