walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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