4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I am one with the molecules
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
