Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
please don't ironically join a cult
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