It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
