It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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