I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
