i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
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im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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