How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
