Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Randomize
