did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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