He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize