I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
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she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
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We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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