what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
The police scanner is talking about you again....
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
