Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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