3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
