Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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