So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
