talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
