it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
