your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
