What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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