Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize