My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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