I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
