Apparently you make a good broom.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
