If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
