You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.