how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Bring me that man meat
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning