peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
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I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
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So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag