Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
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It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
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I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?