are you still at the devil's house?
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
