remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
