saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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