it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
