that's an acceptable place to lick
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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