So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
