so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
