so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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