is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
