I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
