Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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