Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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