i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
